Moveitfred By Bike

Wear and Tear

2010-10-21T16:17:00.002-04:00

Moveitfred assumes his vast readership was shocked upon seeing the post of his beloved dog under the heading "Fat Bitch." This certainty has weighed on Moveitfred since his post. He wants to explain.

Moveitfred's fat black bitch is a female breeder for the local guide dog society. She is, in essence, a professional baby maker. The picture was taken of the fat black bitch before she was shipped off to the birthing house for this, her fourth and supposedly last, litter of pups.

Upon birthing and teating her brood, she will then be retired from birthing duties and will live out her days at La Casa de Fred. Undoubtedly fat, black, with streaks of bitchiness.

In other news, Moveitfred was scheduled to ride with Al Bangorhard two days ago, but Al pussed out. Al said his back was sore and he needed a mineral soak. Moveitfred hopes Al feels less sore.

In Al's absence Moveitfred did a kicker of a cyclocross ride through the local woods. Today Moveitfred went for a long hike in another stretch of forest and then popped in "The Big Lebowski" and hammered out 45 mins on the C2 rower down in the dungeon.

You got that right.

Fat Bitch

2010-10-16T18:50:00.002-04:00

Dear Bloggers

2010-10-03T08:21:00.002-04:00

Today Moveitfred is cozying up with a warm cup of cider while you are chattering over the now dried out, bone-crushing course at Gloucester.

Moveitfred knows blogger will endure heavy use tomorrow as you post your enthusiastic post-race fodder, and Moveitfred looks forward to skimming all you have to say.

However, Moveitfred wants you to know he has contacted the top brass at this outfit and you will be blocked from using the word "epic" in your posts.

Consider this simply a friendly public service announcement. You're welcome.

O' Freddo

2010-10-02T13:32:00.002-04:00

Had to pull the plug on the waggle up to Gloucester this year.

Instead he'll just wait for the clever "New England Worlds" videos melded to the hip music to flood the web.

And he'll watch them.

In anticipation, Moveitfred got a nice 90 mins in on the purple puz this morning and parked it next to some boats for a rest.

Where's Al?

2010-09-26T09:24:00.004-04:00

Moveitfred wants to add this about the irascible Al Bangorhard: He don't fuck around (pardon the blunt, caustic language).

Glee

2010-09-21T21:42:00.003-04:00

Moveitfred has got a little chirp in his whistle. The insolent Al Bangorhard intends to pull himself begrudgingly out from under his rock and join Moveitfred for some cycling in the countryside tomorrow.

Al tells Moveitfred he intends to set a plan in motion to bust our two heroes out from the drudgery of their factory jobs early. Something involving smoke bombs and feces.

Anywho, apparently Al intends to swim out in the always treacherous Long Island Sound as well.

So he says.

Full Day

2010-09-19T21:53:00.002-04:00

Moveitfred took purple cx bike out for two hours this morning and tore the shit out of the new grass over at the elementary school.

This evening, he and Moveitfred Jr. slayed up a bucketfullota of bluefish and porgies over at the sacred fishing grounds down the road.

Moveitfred's gonna walk Stupid Dog and call it a day.

What The Hell

2010-09-18T22:59:00.003-04:00

Moveitfred trains his fukcing ass off but can't keep the weight down.

Dinner

2010-09-18T22:57:00.002-04:00

What They Do

2010-09-14T15:40:00.000-04:00

Moveitfred's back has been sore for two days.

He just thought you should know.

Soft Cheese

2010-09-12T09:00:00.008-04:00

The ol' Montauk Hope ride got a rarin' start yesterday with plenty of standing around in the parking lot. Moveitfred volunteered to haul Mrs. Moveitfred and two other local compatriots and their bikes to begin this epic adventure.

Moveitfred unloaded the bikes and then leaned against Sexy Minivan with a cup o joe and watched the hoards arrive while the painfully slow process of registration, filling tires, and figuring out there to stash the lunch tickets ensued.

For many attempting this dash to the east end this is the one and only bike ride of the year. This is a ride where one can literally spot spongy housewives dabbing spider webs off their bikes with tissue. Also, plenty of this: a dude pulled in next to Moveitfred in an Escalade with a spotless Madone strapped to the back. He told his buds across the lot that he "just got it" the previous night over at the local Trek-n-Go across town. Man, Moveitfred'd like Trek dude's cash register take day before this thing. Moveitfred would buy a shithole in the mountains and leave all y'all the fuck to figure out what to do with this world....

But, back to business. Moveitfred got his crew stable and relatively pleased before inching out of the lot. One of the most terrifying 5 minutes of Moveitfred's life was negotiating Sexy Minivan out of that lot as dozens of once-a-year bikers wobbled around and compared chainring tattoos. But y'know, good for them and their fat asses.

Moveitfred got home to rouse the kids and figure out how to pack Sexy Minivan for the ride out east. He saw the note left by Mrs. Moveitfred that contained these words:

"Don't forget the brie."

Are you fucking kidding Moveitfred? The brie? Sometimes Moveitfred thinks there must have been a moment in time he completely missed when his life took a radical about-face.

Reluctantly Moveitfred packed the brie, his bike, and all the beer he could squeeze into the cooler, threw the kids in the car, and drove. Long drive short, Moveitfred did the Hamptons Crawl for much of the drive before finally arriving at the end point, but not The End, where Mrs. Moveitfred would conclude the pedalfest.

Brie intact.

When Mrs. Moveitfred triumphantly arrived at the beach Moveitfred gave her a peck on the cheek, the keys to the car, and notification that Moveitfred was about to unload his very red Serotta and be gone "a long time." The clambake/briefest beach bingo would have to go on without our hero.

Moveitfred's intention was simple. He wanted to kill a couple of hours roaming around the east tip of things until it was about time to pack up and head home. Pretty much sums up how Moveitfred rolls. And along the way he saw incredible things.

First significant stop, the bar at the Memory Motel for a beer.

Moveitfred can't think of a time he's ever stopped mid-ride for said beverage, but figured the Memory Motel was just as good as any place to do it. A few crusties and surfer types swilling as well, but in the end not as significant as Moveitfred thought it might be. He can't be faulted for imagining a life-changing experience, can he?

Next, another lengthy stop on the sunshiny bluff at Camp Hero where a shitload of fish were getting murdered.

Cheap sucks onshore couldn't reach them.

After nearly passing out and tumbling off the bluffs to his death, Moveitfred roused himself from his buzzed half-life snooze and back on the wheels. He continued out to what the natives call "The End"--that point of symbolic entitlement that says you have reached the conclusion of all that matters--and then latched onto the tailwind for a spirited hammerfest back to Hither Hills.

Where, thankfully, the brie already had been consumed and most of the crowd had dispersed. There's your end of summer.

It wasn't a rock

2010-09-10T14:27:00.002-04:00

Shout out goes to Paul Sadoff, the man at Rock Lobster Bicycles, for building a superb frame this summer for Mrs. Moveitfred.

Mrs. Moveitfred has been pushing the blackie/pinkie machine for a few weeks and has her first big ride for the Montauk Hope in the morning.

Moveitfred has been cleaning/tuning the bike this afternoon and, upon close inspection, has gained even more appreciation and respect for Paul and his work. For a base-model steel tig frame he did some clean, precise, and even detailed work. Shit be tight, yo.

In short, Mrs. Moveitfred will stand out among the hoards of Specializedkleintreks with the sweetest damn bike in the crowd. Nice work, Paul.

Labor

2010-09-06T12:10:00.004-04:00

Moveitfred removed the computer from his road bike today.

Moveitfred is now computerless.

Done with that.

Dummy

2010-09-02T18:13:00.002-04:00

Everyone should know by now that Moveitfred and Al Bangorhard created the universe.

Doesn't take a fucking genius.

Fixin' Shit

2010-09-01T14:45:00.007-04:00

Moveitfred got his neighbor, Jimmy, to snap a photog of him doing some yoga this afternoon.

Since returning from LA, Moveitfred has felt the effects of too much lazing at the beach and them In-N-Out Burgers out there. So it's been strict as shit back to the hardcore for Freddo, including light spins on the bike and yoga.

Correct: Fred is not fucking around.

Moveitfred plans to explore the often overlooked aspect in training: flexibility.

Heywood Jablome sent Moveitfred a blog link for flexibility training that Moveitfred has since lost, but it covered some type of west coast approach popular in the SF Bay area. Anyway, Moveitfred didn't have the attention span to view/read/follow the instructions anyway, however Heywood explained to Moveitfred that the training involves repeated toe touches and something Heywood called "Thigh Flutterbies" with a partner.

Trouble is, Moveitfred doesn't have a partner.

Unless you count Al Bangorhard.

But Moveitfred doesn't.

What Else Is New

2010-08-30T12:50:00.002-04:00

Moveitfred is back home after an electrifying 4 weeks out in the Land of LA.

But enough about all that.

Back to the Rockpile today. Moveitfred bike-commuted his ass into the factory where the indelible Al Bangorhard greeted our hero with a swift kick in the nads.

Moveitfred and Mr. Bangorhard share what some might label an "office" but what is really a den of excess and depravity among an otherwise functioning workplace. The real issue is the fucking incessant heavy metal noise Mr. Bangorhard channels through his circa 1970's receiver and polished oak speakers.

Mr. Bangorhard wants to rock and roll all night, and party every day.

Only other news of worth at the factory is that the management installed Dual Flush Handles in the unisex employee growler.

Moveitfred has had issues with sharing his bath with broads (and no insult meant whatsoever with the use of the term "broads" in this context, it's more a representation of Moveitfred's unease with the situation) over the years, but now he needs to pay attention whether he should toggle up for liquid waste and down for solid? Please.

You can bet your ass the union will hear about this.

Moveitfred felt like a slug on his bike, although his clocked time into the factory was about average pace. Now, the big decision: Moveitfred took the early shift at the factory on Tuesdays and Thursdays with a scheduled clock-in at 6:30am. He's been considering lights for a 5:30am commute through the boscage of suburban Long Island...

Nice

2010-08-22T15:02:00.001-04:00

Small town life in the mountains.

Pledge Allegiance

2010-08-10T12:53:00.003-04:00

Moveitfred switched hats and attended the Angels game last night. And you're damn effin' straight he shoved a little kid out of the way to grab this batting practice homer.

Moveitfred is dressed and rarin' to do two hours through the Cali hills on his Piece Of Shit Cali bike.

Prickly Balls

2010-08-07T23:14:00.004-04:00

While on a run through the canyon this morning, Moveitfred paused to marvel at this wonder.

Padres

2010-08-06T11:10:00.002-04:00

A name that strikes fear, for sure.

Moveitfred threw two elbows to get a foul tip, but some little shit out-grabbed our hero for the prize. Moveitfred is certain he's lost some fast-twitch fiber in his advancing age.

Partners

2010-08-05T13:22:00.003-04:00

Moveitfred spent the a.m. dialing in his wife's old road bike stashed out here in Cali to sort of fit his son. Got within a reasonable distance of fit, then took the bad-boy (and his new wheels) out for a spin around the reservoir.

Lizards and quail effed with our heros.

Son complained about stresses to the man tackle.

FYI.

LAX

2010-08-04T14:41:00.001-04:00

Moveitfred so far had to brush off two advocates for the homeless and one nut pushing Jesus outside baggage claim.

Fucking Los Angeles.

Solo's right, as always

2010-08-04T14:38:00.000-04:00

There is internet in California.

FYI

Gone, Babycakes, Gone

2010-08-03T14:09:00.003-04:00

Moveitfred spun out the legs for two hours yesterday in the waning light. Today it's pack and prep for the flight to the other side of things.

Moveitfred gonna be gone a long time on the vacationation. Be back in time as they wind the factory back into production mode.

"The sun has charred
the other side of
the world and come
back to us
and painted the smoke
over our heads
an imperial violet.

It is 5 am
and you are listening
to Los Angeles."

Breakfast

2010-07-31T09:52:00.000-04:00

Day 2: slayed it once again.

shhhhh...

2010-07-30T07:37:00.002-04:00

Moveitfred just sneaked his ass back into the third floor suite here at the beautiful Hampton Inn. What's left of family fred is asleep.

Moveitfred destroyed the complementary breakfast down in the lobby merely moments ago. Know what it's like when shit be all set up a certain way and then YOU enter the space and announce, "No, no mutherfuckers...I own this fuckin' place now!"

Moveitfred is confident his loyal readership knows what he's talking about. Moveitfred went to the front and took one helluva pull on that breakfast. Fucking waffle press was smokin' balls, yo.

Moveitfred Jr. should be tearing through warmups at the pool about now with Mrs. Moveitfred in charge. This afternoon Moveitfred's daughter hits the venue and just may bust out one of the best times in the country this year....

Rollin'

2010-07-28T22:33:00.002-04:00

Moveitfred just turned in final grades for the two online classes he taught this summer. Moveitfred prefers not wasting time actually calculating final grades and instead simply records an A for each student.

And you can decide for yourself if that's how Moveitfred rolls.

Tomorrow Moveitfred drives his kids to a big-ass fucking swim meet at parts up yonder for the weekend. Upon return Moveitfred jumps on an airplane and flies the fuck out of Dodge for the rest of the summer.

And you can decide for yourself if that's how Moveitfred rolls.

Changeup

2010-07-26T17:21:00.002-04:00

"Didn't I tell you? I'm taking the day off work today."

Mrs. Moveitfred

Dogs

2010-07-25T23:18:00.003-04:00

Y'know, you gotta love the labrador. But they are some stupid fucking dogs.

Moveitfred slept in and then squeezed 60 minutes on the bicycle midday as soon as the heat index reached its peak. Then he went swimming in a pool. Then he ate some cheesecake.

Right now Moveitfred should be grading the final papers in his summer class that ended last week. But he's too fucking tired of reading the idiotic drivel.

Instead he's been emailing Heywood Jablome. Heywood and fred plan to overthrow the planet, and they're just working out some of the details.

Another Average Day

2010-07-22T14:08:00.002-04:00

This is the sight of a happy Moveitfred. Last night's wicked electrical and wind shit broke open the best day in weeks. Add to the greatness Moveitfred Jr. in basketball camp all day, so Moveitfred got out for a good long one in the breeze. Additional added bonus: no fucking flies biting his ass.

Months ago Moveitfred sent out one of his pile of shithole scripts to the greatest screenwriting competition on the planet: The Nicholl. Of the 200 million scripts entered, Moveitfred got word today that his did not make the quarterfinal cut of about 300 or so. However, according to the academy experts at Nicholl, he was one of a few very talented a-holes who got a "ps" added to the rejection with some notes on the script explaining how close it was to making the cut.

It's sort of like getting kicked in the nuts then having a podium girl slather some lard on your swollen nads.

Back in Black

2010-07-21T11:06:00.002-04:00

Moveitfred is glad to be back home and mowing the grass. It's warm and steamy, but not Arkansas warm and steamy. Moveitfred even wore a black t-shirt. Badass, yeah, he knows.

Things that suck today:

2010-07-14T14:13:00.002-04:00

1. This weather. Moveitfred doesn't like wet.

2. Work. Moveitfred has ignored his responsibilities for too long.

3. Preparing to fly on an a-e-roplane. Moveitfred doesn't like packing, worrying about how to get to the airport, and thinking about fast movement above the earth in a tube.

4. Staying in Arkansas. See below:

Fuckers

2010-07-11T09:33:00.003-04:00

Can't stand these fuckers.

Moveitfred took his kiddies to the neighbor's pool last night (poached it while they're away on vacation, yo) and one of these fuckers kept landing on the heads of family Fred and biting the shit out of the melons.

This morning Moveitfred did what was otherwise a pleasant 2 hours with the miss-us, until out on the beach road two of these fuckers nailed Moveitfred through his lycra right in the ass.

Moveitfred realizes he's on the south end of fitness, and his black-bike-shorts ass looks like a nice slab of cow. But still.

Fuckers.

Lie Down

2010-07-06T16:15:00.003-04:00

Moveitfred snarfed around the interweb this morning and picked up various freebie feeds of the Tour de Pave. Fun to watch people fall on rocks.

Before that Moveitfred went out for a relatively cool 6am ride with Mrs. Moveitfred. Later in the afternoon he took Moveitfred Jr. to the beach for swim lessons. Now THAT was freakin' crazy from the heat. Moveitfred considered entering the water to cool off, but with 500 fat mothers and screaming kids plying the salty fluid he figured there was enough diluted piss floating about to discolor his trunks.

Badass

2010-07-05T00:31:00.002-04:00

Shove that, douchebags.

2010-07-01T09:31:00.003-04:00

Moveitfred went to Canada for the first time as a kid while on vacation with his parents. Moveitfred remembers stopping at the border where some guy in a hat asked his dad some questions about where he lived and if he had any fruit in the car. Moveitfred also remembers getting some Canadian money, and he thought it looked funny.

Happy Canada Day, Canada.

Mont Fred

2010-06-30T19:29:00.001-04:00

Moveitfred did a few hill repeats up the stunning Mont Fred today. He didn't feel as bad as he thought he would.

Screenplay Content

2010-06-29T11:06:00.003-04:00

Moveitfred finished the first draft of a new screenplay this week. The title alludes to killing the protagonist, but the protagonist remains unscathed and not much killing takes place in the script. There are lots of space aliens in the story, however, and they tend to be an inscrutable lot.

Moveitfred was contacted this morning by an important movie person who wants to interview him in an online format regarding his experiences related to screenwriting. Moveitfred is cool with that, although Moveitfred worries he'll come across as an ass.

In other news Moveitfred likes this picture, so he's going to post it again.

2010-06-28T11:31:00.002-04:00

Pretty freakin' hot for June 'round these parts.

Moveitfred plans to drop his sun off at camp and then cook out on the bike for about an hour. Moveitfred figures waiting until the peak heat of the day will strip additional waste from his physique, giving him that ripped appearance the chicks dig.

History, in short

2010-06-25T13:30:00.003-04:00

A host of discerning individuals has been clamoring over/touching Moveitfred and yelling, "Where have you been for all these years?"

Moveitfred feels your pain. He has been away for what feels like years. Doing what, you axe? Living the Life of Enlightenment in this cauldron of feces we call our home planet. Yes, he still rides his bike, he drinks coffee, he walks to the library. Sometimes he engages in meaningful exchanges with his Bicoastal Boy brethren, but mostly not. He writes perhaps the greatest screenplays about important topics that have yet to be acknowledged and produced. In short, doing what he can considering the circumstances.

Right now it's hot. Moisture builds in his groin, and he feels itchy.

Moveitfred will ride his bike.

2010-06-25T03:57:00.003-04:00

The alarm that signals fire in the house keeps ringing and ringing and ringing....

Moveitfred can't sleep. It's 4am. Moveitfred can't sleep.

This all started after the Rock Lobster came into the house about 8 hours ago.

Moveitfred believes this new bike has otherworldly powers that have disrupted the oblique strands of pastoral he has worked so hard to cultivate here at La Casa de Fred.

Moveitfred is both disturbed and awed by this phenomenon. He will not rest tonight.

Return

2009-10-05T10:17:00.003-04:00

Moveitfred has been granted a release for mildly appropriate behavior. He returns with a Gloucester pic from the sunny day.

What is the sound of two hands clapping?

Moveitfred is planning a trip to Belgium in 2010 to research cyclocross. And he's about as serious as he can be about that.

Salut

2009-01-14T16:22:00.002-05:00

To blogger cyclist friends:

Train smart, ride hard, be well. Hope to see you down the road. I won't be posting a darn thing here for the foreseeable future. I'm just going to keep this blog sitting for as long as blogger allows as a place for links and such. Some new writing projects are tugging every day, and clearly (in my mind, anyway) it's time to cut loose the things I cannot keep up with anymore.

Fun stuff, Moveitfred

Crack Arrived

2009-01-07T11:25:00.003-05:00

Rainy pisser of a day. I hope to be especially productive over the next few hours by eating air-popped corn and drinking two press pots of Oren's. Doing what I can to stimulate the economy.

Coffee and bikes

2009-01-06T12:33:00.003-05:00

Good looking East Village city bike, no? Discovered some killer coffee down the street at the Roasting Plant. To stand out in the crowd they've developed an automated, theme-park ride system for making the joe. You order up, worker pushes a button, and freshly roasted beans are sucked up through tubes over your head and into machines that grind and brew. It's all very clinical and not at all warm and baristamente, but it's a memorable cup of joe.

Stopped by Oren's to get some of their fresh beans, but they closed up shop early for inventory. Damn. So ordered online and am pacing the house waiting for the delivery.

It's important shit like this keeps me busy while waiting to go back to work. Put in 90 minutes on the mountain bike yesterday and just finished 60 minutes of brisk hiking through the sand at the shoreline with the dog. So far, a stellar beginning to 09.

Now, gotta hammer out some script pages until the kids come home.

Yeah, kinda cold

2009-01-02T13:53:00.003-05:00

Did the 60 minute tour of town with son. Slush/sandy roads. Some fun stuff to plow through. Not really that cold, but I can't seem to get the gloves dialed in. Fingers are soooooo freaking boney and long that they jab into the ends of the gloves, compress the insulation, and quickly go numb. Just completed the painful thaw process. Now it's time for hot chocolate and settling in with the giant lego Star Wars craft. Goal: get that mutha built before bedtime.

New Powershot

2009-01-02T12:05:00.003-05:00

Lazy good-for-nothing dog gets first test photo. Little camera feels like a postage stamp in my big, gawky mitts. Lots of tiny buttons to accidentally push.

Taking mountain bike out today in the ice and cold.

Yes, really.

Resolutions

2008-12-31T10:25:00.004-05:00

Exercise less and drink more coffee. Generally average Krups burr grinder crapped out just before the holidays. Going to pull the trigger on this bad boy:

Opinion for the new year: those who stop or cut back on coffee consumption are weak-minded fairy boys.

"Yeah, but my doctor says..."

So tired of this whiny crap.

Snowing like a mutha outside, and moments ago a big lightning flash nearly blinded me. Strange biblical shit, for sure.

More resolutions:

Eat more processed food.
Show more contempt for others.
Put on 20 lbs by March 1.
Cut out flossing altogether.

See you maybe once in awhile in 2009.

Southampton 08

2008-11-22T19:56:00.003-05:00

Simply put, effin stark and cold.

And that's about the size of it.

Gloucester

2008-10-13T10:20:00.022-04:00

Here are a few of the better shots from Gloucester Cross 2008.

Good weekend for Brooke Shields to wash up on the beach, or something like that.

Elite men cranking up the hill at the start of day 1.

A taste of the mayhem at the barriers.

Trebon ran away from the elite field both days. Just his kind of course, for sure.

Son happily rocking the barriers at the end of day 1.

Kids digging deep for glory at the day 2 race.

Women up and over the start/finish hill on day 2 and flying into the hardpack.

Run-up of pain added for day 2.

Good to see lots of old and new friends. Weather was very uncrosslike, but great for spectating with the family. All involved at Gloucester do a fantastic job with the race.

Sacred Fishing Grounds

2008-10-01T11:46:00.002-04:00

Kids and I are off right now for the holidays. As we are far from practitioners of the Jewish faith this is simply two unencumbered days off, as it were.

Yesterday we explored the Sacred Fishing Grounds down the street from our house. The tide was high, the eelgrass was browning, and the creatures were plentiful. We managed the hat trick of capturing numerous small blues, some short stripers, and two fat porgies. All were released as per the pre-established tenets of sportspersonship.

On to cycling news:_____________ .

Wait, I can report that I am regularly and joyfully cyclo-commuting to work. The entire process is much more ingrained in my daily rituals now, and on my best weeks I've cut down my driving to two days. What has been especially cool in this suburban wasteland is taking the left turn on the way home from work and hitting the singletrack in the newly official mountain bike trail near my house. Some killer sand-to-the-bottom bracket fireroads make for a challenge as well.

On Monday I discovered a new patch of tempting woods adjacent to work. My Russian satellite contacts report a series of trails in there. Just need to make sure humans are not being skinned and sacrificed within its dark bowels.

And, uh, cyclocross?

Do you ever?

2008-09-19T18:07:00.003-04:00

Wonder about neighbors who post ridiculous signs out by the road? We got these people, see, a few houses down who, in what must be tremendous urges of over-protectiveness, outrage, and guilt, feel the need to flood the roadside with "Slow Children At Play" warning signs. They got the stand-up plastic A-frame versions of these signs, the plastic-coated stick-in-the-ground versions. Big, yellow signs everywhere.

Now, there's a tremendous weight of irony that I'll let you in on. These kids don't "play." At all. It's not one of those "oh, they could be out more often, like the good old days" observations either. These kids are NEVER outside playing down by the road or otherwise.

And, yep, they look like this:

Bet you anything, too, that if we lined 'em up and fired off a starting pistol they'd, yes indeed, be slow children.

In other news, thanks to the wonder-knowledge of Solo and CTodd I'm gaining confidence with my mac right-click habits. Also, G-Willier hooked me up with a stellar full-finger glove rec for my oversized mitts. Ah, the wonders of the blogosphere. Thanks Hombres.

Got in a spectacular solo ride today on the cross rig. Managed to mix in plenty of terrain, discovered that my fav cross field over yonder in town had been mowed down of its summer neck-high weeds, and even worked on a few dismounts.

Temps are dropping and the sky is blue. I assume Venus and Mars are alright tonight too.

Right-click

2008-09-16T21:19:00.004-04:00

I was the KING of right-click with the mouse on the old PC. But, bad news. The PC crashed and is currently awaiting repairs. What to do? Purchase a mac. This is the good news.

However, where is my right-click? This function was my lifeline to fun and frivolity. How do I grab, copy, paste with this shiny new whiteness?

One problem in this whole equation is I have no time to learn something new and I'm an idiot. OK, two problems. But somewhat related nonetheless. Need one of those Geniuses to move in for a week.

Anyway, wanna know what else? The logline for my screenplay sucks. Effing sucks right now. That about sums up life. Cycling/cross? Nope. Keeping up with regular job? Barely. Getting kids to school on time? Once in awhile. Eating well? Does two bowls of ice cream tell you anything.

Gotta nail the logline, gotta nail the logline.

Might go to Nittany Lion cross. Or might not.

Man, I need to be driven by fuel and have passion for dirt, or however that saying goes.

ps, can there be anything worse than being on Solo's list of the "not being updated much?" Jeezus, how's that for kicking a guy in the rocks?

FYI

2008-09-06T17:29:00.001-04:00

Back in Black

2008-08-30T10:56:00.002-04:00

I suppose it's time to post something here, a task that's getting hard to complete with any frequency (yeah, like once every month or so).

In brief it goes like this: back from a stellar vacation in Cali where I spent way more time in the water than on a bike and that was just fine, doing some very cool and prompt work for Andrew in order to help the cause, gearing up to devote a year to writing at least two screenplays, picking up a new online teaching gig to test the waters there, and, oh, also continuing the responsibilities of family and the usual job.

I'm feeling way behind balls right now, but the work I'm doing is a big loin rush. As the cliche goes, I'm stretching myself in some new directions that are pushing the fun and cool factors. So, to all my blogger friends out there ramping up the fitness for what's left of road or the beginning of cross, well done and hammer on. I'm looking forward to hitting a number of cross races this season, but I'll likely be in my usual position of way off the back. If there's one thing I've learned as a newbie cross racer it's that someone like me needs to devote a healthy chunk of time to training in order to see some results, and that sort of dedication just ain't fitting into the life program right now.

(Random observation: didn't have one insect bite during a month stay in the warm, dry climate of Cali. Right now I'm itching myself to the fucking bone from what must be approaching a dozen violations of my person.)

So on the program today is an attempt to transfer my two online courses from the "test site" to the "production site" for the start of online classes next week. See my college, in its infinite wisdom, switched course management systems over the summer from what everyone in the universe uses (Blackboard) to a new startup system (D2L). As you might imagine, the transition has produced a bug or two. So I have managed to successfully move my courses from Blackboard to test D2L, and now I will attempt to reach my hand into the hat and pull the real deal out for all to see.

Add into the mix housesitting a black lab puppy. The little fucker is cute as a button, but she divides her day into good (sleeping) and bad (chewing, pissing, crapping).

If you have a compassionate bone in your body, wish me luck.

Shaky City

2008-07-29T17:44:00.003-04:00

Heading out the door bound for Land of La. Earthy rumbles will no doubt serve as good prep for dodgy, off-camber turns. Be back in a month or so....

I don't get it, but whatever

2008-07-25T10:37:00.003-04:00

Meg tagged me? With a meme? Dude, I am WAY out of the loop on this one, but I just finished up a brilliant job teaching over the summer, got nothing to do right now, so here goes:

If you could have any one — and only one — bike in the world, what would it be?

My purple Zank. Easy answer. The bike does it all, and it's comfy steel all around, baby.

Do you already have that coveted dream bike? If so, is it everything you hoped it would be? If not, are you working toward getting it? If you’re not working toward getting it, why not?

See answer above. My Serotta Legend ain't too shabby either. Check back in six or seven years when I have my new Sachs. Answer may change.

If you had to choose one — and only one — bike route to do every day for the rest of your life, what would it be, and why?

I would ride from my sister-in-law's pad in Long Beach, Cali along PCH to my day job teaching swim and rescue classes to female, 18-25 yr old lifeguards-in-training in Newport Beach, Cali. And then I would ride back to Long Beach. Why? The scenery, man.

Do you ride both road and mountain bikes? If both, which do you prefer and why? If only one or the other, why are you so narrow minded?

Yes. Road. Because I suck at off-road. I hit trees regularly.

Have you ever ridden a recumbent? If so, why? If not, describe the circumstances under which you would ride a recumbent.

I would beat my testicles with a wrench before I would ride a recumbent.

Have you ever raced a triathlon? If so, have you also ever tried strangling yourself with dental floss?

See answer above. Replace "ride a recumbent" with "race a triathlon."

Suppose you were forced to either give up ice cream or bicycles for the rest of your life. Which would you give up, and why?

Ice cream. To keep my slim, sexy figure.

Can you conceive cycling without racing?

Here's the deal: I think I confuse "racing" with "touring."

You’re riding your bike in the wilderness (if you’re a roadie, you’re on a road, but otherwise the surroundings are quite wilderness-like) and you see a bear. The bear sees you. What do you do?

Drop my bibs and shit with it.

What is a question you think this questionnaire should have asked, but has not?
Also, answer it.

What are you going to do tonight, Moveitfred?

Well Moveitfred, I'm glad you asked. There is the usual Long Island Fiasco circuit race tonight, but here's an example of where my head is at right now. Instead of racing I will be attending the double feature tonight at the film fest. I'm hoping to catch up with a couple of new screenwriter friends, talk shop, mingle, and say things like "I appreciated the visual elements in that film, however I believe the narrative arc was misconceived."

Two more things:

1) I have no friends and nobody reads this blog, so I have nobody to tag. I will accept my fate.

2) Heywood: if you're out there I need your help to screw my f'ing head back on straight. Dude, I'm going to a FILM FESTIVAL tonight! It's gotten that bad.

FFFFilm FFFFest

2008-07-22T10:22:00.002-04:00

Took my man card out of the wallet for the week and replaced it with a pass to the local film festival. Moveitfred hangs out with the other artsies and retired greys watching indie shorts and features late into the night.

Notice that besides getting in line for a new bike that will reach home sometime in the decades to follow, there ain't much talk about cycling on this cycling blog.

That's because there ain't much happening.

I'm putting all my rocks into the bag that requires the driven, virile Heywood to trash my ass into shape for cross season out in the hinterlands of California over the coming weeks.

Good plan, huh?

In Line

2008-07-19T13:04:00.006-04:00

If you pay attention to such matters, one of the big buzz topics through the intervines this week was the news that Richard Sachs is closing and locking the front door on all new frame orders.

If you're not in line and you want one, better set your preferences on ebay and hope some dude with your same build suffers a brain hemorrhage before you're hooked up to tubes yourself.

After about 10 minutes of careful consideration, I got in line.

Now all you f'ers can fall in behind Moveitfred, atmo.

Six years or so gives me plenty of time to decide if it's going to be a road or cross frame.

Atmo.

Just Summer

2008-07-14T10:11:00.006-04:00

Trying to be mellow by parking myself in front of the euro feed of TdF right now. Dudes are killing it bombing down the Tourmalet at the moment. Glad I'm right here sipping a big cup of joe. Just mellow.

Dodgey experience yesterday down on the south shore of the island paradise at Cupsogue County Beach. For summer the swell was pretty big, and there was a powerful sweep from east to west down the beach. Was out in the break with two killer swimmers: my daughter and friend. Both strong, all-county quality in the water. Tide coming in, and quickly we were caught up in a large set of waves. The first two in the set broke over us, washed up the beach, and then washed back out pulling us with the volume of water.

OK, this now officially sucked. We were now washed out to the furthest breakers, and the big overhead swells just kept pounding down. Not much time to breath as the swells were coming in tight sets. Others got washed out too. The Atlantic was flexing its muscles. Not fun.

Luckily these two girls were killer! My daughter, the smallest by far, was struggling. She was getting tossed and held down. We pulled together. Ducked and got pounded. Came up together for air. Assessed the situation. Put our energies into calmly moving toward the beach.

Wasn't easy at all. The sweep down the beach kept us moving parallel to shore. Lifeguard teams jumped to full alert. Guys were flying out into the surf with cans and ropes. We were getting completely shellacked by the surf. As we were moving in, lifeguard teams were screaming past us to those way out. They were in real trouble.

We finally caught some swells that lurched us toward the beach. Felt great to finally be in knee-deep wash. The girls were awesome. The lifeguards were awesome. Others--adults, teenagers, strong-looking people--were being rescued out behind us. Towed, roped, finally all made it in sputtering and gasping and thankful.

It's the old cliche but true: it's amazing how fast things can change and turn to shit!

Back to TdF. Front groups ready to climb Hautacam. Coffee's about gone. It's a steamy day here. Showers passing through. I've got new cross wheels coming from UPS today. Going to throw on a cassette and check those out later. Countdown to cold and cross.

Find more videos like this on Cyclocross Magazine

But it's just summer now.

Tracking

2008-07-11T16:26:00.002-04:00

Type:
Package

Status:
In Transit - On Time

Scheduled Delivery:
07/14/2008

Shipped To:
EAST SETAUKET, NY, US

Freddy is:
Jazzed

Forthcoming functional set of clincher hoops for the cross bike. Can't wait to slap 'em on.

man...

2008-07-07T19:42:00.000-04:00

photo from pez:

there is just way too much funny going on in that pic.

Stuck

2008-07-07T14:07:00.003-04:00

Why is it that every freakin' pathetic little breakaway I've ever been in has never stuck?

Big congrats to RGM/Sachs rider Justin Spinelli who took second in that other big race over the weekend. Understand he did it all without any help. Pretty good tuneup for the real season that starts in a few months.

Thunder God

2008-07-06T19:51:00.002-04:00

The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the iniquities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil men. Blessed is he, who in the name of charity and good will, shepherds the weak through the valley of darkness, for he is truly his brother's keeper and the finder of lost children. And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger those who would attempt to poison and destroy my brothers. And you will know my name is THE THOR when I lay my vengeance upon thee.

CX Magazine

2008-06-27T20:47:00.004-04:00

Hey! Time to get off your lazy ass and pay for a subscription to CX Magazine. Where else are you going to get the best news written by the best people and edited by the leaders in this industry? Huh?

Yeah, yeah, you're going to do it soon.

NO! DO IT NOW! Issue #3 coming out soon, and now's your chance.

CX Magazine

ZPG

2008-06-27T20:38:00.002-04:00

Ride your bike to work, to buy groceries, to go to the beach, to make love.

And then buy a patch or something.

Zero Per Gallon

Shipping

2008-06-24T13:47:00.003-04:00

Wheelset to Tim in Canada:

USPS: $30

UPS: $240

C'mon Brown, that's ridiculous. And your employee at the store was an unhelpful, cranky prick. Guess they have corporate contracts that keep them in business? I don't know.

USPS=Lance
UPS=Jan

Neck Deep

2008-06-06T10:27:00.004-04:00

Approaching a month without a post. Cool! At what point does blogger come and board up the space?

In this fascinating, brief post I am here to say I am mired in online work that is keeping me away from all these troublesome blogs. I have signed on for some additional work/pay/abuse at my regular job, and I am also completing some additional work/pay/abuse at two other cyberspaceic locations. In all I stare at a square screen for hours from the comfort of my casa, dog at feet, cup of joe jittering above the keyboard.

Great thing about the whole debacle is that I get to sneak out on my bikes pretty much whenever I want. Of course nothing of interest to report there, other than I believe for the first time in my cycling career I hit a mammal* the other day. Strangely enough, can't recall ever doing that before.

(*ed note: animal mammal. Upon reflection, have hit a few human mammals in my time on earth)

Offending mammal was a squirrel. The little F'er was alongside the road, did the spastic peepee dance as I approached, and instead of darting left into the safety of the woods it darted right into the path of my front wheel.

I've read and seen horror stories of these creatures attempting to jump through moving hoops and getting all caught up in spokes, forks. Not the case here. I just kind of bumped the little guy. It did a skid and half tumble, I didn't go down, no problem.

Still, I hope I broke a couple of its effing ribs.

Du-Du

2008-05-10T21:21:00.002-04:00

I'm a might sore after completing the underground duathlon today. The brazen side of me felt there would be no problem entering into an event with two parts running, even though I don't run. The intellectual side soon figured out that I was setting myself up for a big hurt by doing no run training ahead of time.

Predictably, yours truly was dead last and a hurting puppy after the first run. But soon into the bike the legs started shaking out a bit and I was able to put it into overdrive. Despite giving everyone a HUGE head start I managed to reel in all but the first two out on the course. Entering the run third, I crumbled down one spot (just didn't get a big enough lead on Danny-boy, who quickly and easily dispatched me early in the final leg) for a final position of fourth--just off the podium.

Lesson: if I did even a little bit of running each week I prolly wouldn't collapse during those two parts of the event. Duh.

We may do this all over again next month....

Switching Teams

2008-05-09T19:35:00.002-04:00

I'm going Mac, and don't plan to go back.

Now, on to some cycling content. Well, Homeboys and girls, not much to report in the way of excitement--as usual--other than to say I'm making a concerted effort to cycle-commute to work at least 2 or 3 days a week. I haven't quite made the leap to full-time, rain and whatever weather commuting, and also getting up and motivated to ride in for an 8 a.m. class proves to be difficult some days. However I have certainly bumped up the overall weekly mileage whenever I do get my ass out the door on time.

I've also got into a groovy habit of looping the long way home through the woods. Although having my Deuter pack on throws off the balance a bit through some of the dodgy sections, I've got a route figured out over some singletrack that I can ride for 30 minutes or more, depending upon how many loops I want to throw in.

Was all signed up for my first race/crit of the year last weekend, but blew that mofo off after a particularly long day at the office. There was no registration fee, and I just felt much more compelled to get some more sleep rather than schlepping out to the course in the wee hours on Sunday.

I'm thinking into the months ahead and wondering how I'm going to fit in any serious training and racing. General fitness, ok. But I'm getting very squeezed short on time. Got several new, time-consuming projects in the works. Besides the regular FT job, I'm potentially doing some new work for two other institutions via the miracle of the Internet, doing some very cool editing for a very cool mag, and pushing into the dream of screenwriting through a program at UCLA next year.

So I will continue to weep and whine, and probably have very little time for this here enterprise....

Convenience

2008-04-27T03:09:00.003-04:00

When you're down in Arkansas it's important to be able to get what you want when you want it.

Now, here's your "Where's Waldo/Wild Kingdom" diversion for the day:

Somewhere in this riveting photo you'll spot a particularly ghastly species of serpent working to devour a young, innocent amphibian. Alive.

God, what is the world coming to...

Let me tell you something else. I REALLY got to get my ass back out on the bike before the earth caves in on me.

Arkansas

2008-04-17T21:19:00.003-04:00

Heading down to the natural state for some R & R.

Hey, down there the people rule.

Damn the content on this site blows.

1st Shorts Day, Suckas

2008-04-10T22:19:00.002-04:00

Das right, shorts weather today here on the island paradise. Cut out of work early to celebrate in the sun. Put in a solid two hour bike and added on a run later in the day. Even sat for a spell out on the Adirondack and broke open a new book from the jungle. Damn, damn buggy today tho. Critters prolly been lying in wait through the mild winter in order to strike back with a vengeance. Actually think I have mosquito bites.

But it's back to rain and 50's tomorrow.

Ugh

2008-04-04T16:45:00.002-04:00

Physical exam today. No fun once you become "of age." Enough about that.

For shits and giggles I've been following the Base Building for Cyclists routine quite regularly this spring. It's my understanding my good friend Heywood is also a member of the club. So far, what the hell seems good. More than anything else it gives one a defined structure to follow each week, something me likes very much. Sort of a reason to get out of bed in the morning. What results will follow? Prolly nothing new. When you ain't got the huge engine or burning desire to begin with, nothing less than needles will likely do that much good.

(abrupt transition)

One of the highlights of my life was winning Henry's CX Contest #4 this week. For my pick I went with the LI day one race that Vervecken won. Lots of good memories of a warm day and lots of on-camera time for yours truly and Heywood along with plenty of running commentary on the run-up from yours truly's daughter. Think I'll be ordering a few more of the films at 10 bucks a pop. Send Henry your love and a few bucks for a film--the guy works hard to pull together footage for us cross freaks.

Speaking of DVDs, I understand Ritchie has got a new one out too that's getting the rave reviews. Hmmm...to get in line or not to get in line for one of those frames?

(another abrupt transition)

Funny, I have the nagging sensation that someone stuck a finger up my ass today.

Four Conversations For a Tuesday

2008-03-25T16:55:00.003-04:00

#1

Dad?
Yes son.
What are all those green bottles in the frig?
Those are beer.
Are they Belgian?
No son, but I like the way you're thinking.

#2

Dad?
Yes daughter.
Can I go over to Tess's house all afternoon?
Yes daughter.

#3

[Moveitfred?]
Yes neighbor.
Can your son come along with us for a hike and then along to the movies this afternoon?
Yes neighbor.

#4

Dad?
Yes daughter.
Can we ride bikes over to Tess's house?
Yes daughter.

Moveitfred is overjoyed and swelling with pride. By the way, all this freedom allowed me to get in 90 minutes on the cross bike, a short run, and a bunch of seeds into the garden.

Dualie-Man Fred (or Tri-Man Fred, if gardening is a discipline).

Content and Musings

2008-03-24T10:27:00.002-04:00

So Solo wants blog content this week...

OK, content. I've been fighting off the grime once again, the second time this off season. Weird. Both circumstances similar with an intense flu-like experience for a very short time. So this event was my past Thursday and Friday (both days with the kids home with friends tearing up the house and me, barely conscious on the couch, pleading with them to not break anything under my watch). Got in a short one hour spin on Saturday and a hike through the woods on Sunday, both leaving me fatigued and short of breath. Damn, this bug really knocked me out.

Moveitfred needs a hug.

So it's back to the routine today. An easy spin on the bike and some eastern efforts this evening with an attempt to ramp up the fitness back to acceptable levels this week. No "work" this week for me, so I have the goal of some long trail rides on Wednesday and Friday.

Now on to some musings about the road bike. So I've had the titanium dream machine for several years now, the road bike that I thought would be the last and greatest of my pathetic career. But y'know, I'm not so sure. See pretty much ever since I've had the thing I've endured these regular harmonic blasts resonating from the frame. Tesla, I believe, had my frame in mind.

All this noise comes from around the BB area, and I've tried it all short of replacing shit that I can't afford to replace. So it was back into the shop this past week for the yearly tune up that I'm too lazy to do myself, and I was rapping with the trusted mechanic about this overall noise annoyance.

Well those of you who know of Moveitfred know that I'm grotesquely tall and misshapen, and the titanium dream machine sports a triangle that Oprah could squeeze through. The trusted mechanic speculated that, unfortunately, due to the material and the size of the dream machine that it will likely forever be plagued with this resonance problem. It's just so damn big and tingly that it probably just has a nasty habit of picking up and magnifying any little bling or twang or twinge to monstrous levels of annoyance.

So trusted mechanic did a nice job of rebuilding and lock-tightening the BB, threw on the new chain and brake pads, and got her ready to roll for the year. Good to go. But I know it's going to start banging and clicking soon enough.

Maybe this isn't the material for me? A crawl through the web brings up other tall-dude experiences with the titanium that leave something to be desired. Don't get me wrong, the masters did a great job joining the tubes into a stiff performance machine, but maybe this just wasn't the best idea from the get-go.

Maybe I simply need a steel workhorse for the road. Steel frame, steel fork, Centaur group. Solid and tight and bomb-proof. Have this guy do it (if'in he's still doing it), or this guy, or maybe this guy. I even hear this guy does a good job on the cheap.

Anyway, that's the content for the day.

Al and Fred's 1st Annual Dualie

2008-03-15T22:53:00.002-04:00

As reported elsewhere, Al and Fred are pleased to sponsor the following (approved for PG consumption):

AL AND FRED'S 1ST ANNUAL NORTH SHORE UNDERGROUND DUATHLON!

WHEN: SATURDAY, MAY 10, 9 a.m.

WHERE: WEST MEADOW BEACH PARKING LOT, SETAUKET, NEW YORK

WHAT: 2 mile run / 12.5 mile bike / 2 mile run

WHY: TO GET YOUR [BEAUTIFUL BODY] IN SHAPE BEFORE SUMMER

Some details:

Both runs will be from the West Meadow Beach parking lot out to the end of Trustee's Road and back to the lot. That's about two miles for each run. You run AROUND the outside of the circle at the end of the road--these aren't suicides where you touch the end of the road with your foot and turn around.

When you get back to the lot from your first run you need to do whatever it is you need to do to be happy and comfortable on your bicycle (hardcore dualie-men call this the "transition zone"). You can do this in your car, under a towel, or out in the open. Al and Fred don't really care what you do.

The bike portion is basically this (for those of you who know the area): from the West Meadow lot go out to the tennis courts and turn left, up and over Mount Grey Road and turn left at Old Field Road, bust your ass out to the end (lighthouse), return on Old Field Road all the way to the post office, turn right past the Neighborhood House and turn right on Christian Ave, ride over the rolling hills down into Stony Brook Village, turn around down at the Stony Brook Yacht Club, come back up out of the village on Hollow Road, turn left on Cedar, right on Woodbine, and right on Christian, then turn left on Quaker to Mount Grey and get your [beautiful body] back to the beach. Here's a link to the route: http://www.gmap-pedometer.com/?r=1681148

Change back into your running attire and get yourself out to the end of Trustee's Road and back again. Touch the chainlink fence at the parking lot. You're done.

Invitation: If Al or Fred contact you and say you can do it, you're invited. If you contact Al or Fred and either one gets back to you and says you can do it, you're invited. If Al and Fred ignore you, you do not fit in and you are not invited. Sorry, but this is like high school parties--there are the cool people who get invited, and then there is everybody else.

Liability: if you get yourself killed by some Three Village parent screaming down the road because his/her kids are late for soccer practice, don't come crying to Al or Fred. We don't care and don't want to hear your whining. THIS COURSE IS NOT CLOSED TO TRAFFIC. THERE ARE NO CROSSING GUARDS. WATCH YOUR TURNS. WEAR YOUR HELMET.

Despite what you've read so far, we're hoping lots of people come out and have a good time. Bring the kids. We're thinking/hoping there will be enough non-competitor members of the families around so that the kids can hang out at the beach with supervision and then we all come together when the pain is over for more eats and beach fun.

Questions? Email Moveitfred: moveitfred at yahoo dot com

Long Island Alps

2008-03-14T20:04:00.005-04:00

Great day to put in some substantial time on the bike. Upper 40's, no wind, big sun. I put in a solid 2 1/2 hours as part of my basebuilding plan for the spring.

All things considered I'm fortunate to live along the north shore of Long Island where we not only have some very scenic and quiet roads for training, but also some hills. Yes, I know...snickers of laughter coming from those in the north. Big rolling guffaws coming from Heywood out in Cali. But at least this aint Florida or Kansas.

One town to the east is Port Jefferson which sits in a bowl surrounded on three sides by some steep pitches. Climbing up East Broadway from the ferry dock is a classic destination for a big burn. It's not long (.35 mi), but it's a mild 10% to killer 18% all the way up. There are several other pitches in PJ that equal or come close to Broadway, too. A few years ago a couple of locals mapped out a loop route in town that repeats the steepest roads over and over. They used the route on a regular basis to train for a summer tour of the famous climbs in France. Although they couldn't come close to matching the length of those climbs, they did say that a dedicated regime in Port Jeff got them in good shape to handle those French mountains.

Here's a link to some of the short climbs around my home:

Hills of Long Island

Those steep, short pitches are cool, but my fav small climb is just a short ride up the road from my house:

Old Town Road meanders slowly up from the intersection above for just short of 1.5 miles, making it one of the more sustained ups in the area. So what it lacks in rise it, for this flat spit of sand we live on, makes up for in run. I'd estimate the road to be about 3-5%, but it is always going up for its 1.5 mile length and if you shift into the big ring and do it enough times it hurts.

So that's what I did today for the first time in the new season--put in a few modest hill repeats on Old Town. I got in three today, and my habit has been to build to ten for my hardest summer training days.

Good to be back on the hill in the sun.

Spring In The Air

2008-03-08T11:39:00.004-05:00

Cancellara takes the Eroica today. Beautiful looking race--Italian countryside, gravel roads, kits sans legwarmers.

I got out for two hours on bike yesterday with a few modest hill repeats. Complete deluge of rain today is putting a wash on everything, but the next few days look to be warming and dry. As reported elsewhere, I'm considering a wade into the shallow end of duathlon this spring. In fact there may be breaking news soon of something very important and groundbreaking and edgy and very, very secret (to be reported elsewhere).

In conclusion, I found the report of swimming in the Pacific from the A-team to be ceaselessly humorous (if that makes any sense). Why the hell go to the beach at 70 degrees when you can just wait a month and go when it's 80?

To add--I think more bloggers should post pics of humans in swimwear. Just in general. More swimear no matter the time of year and context. That's what I think.

Shameless Self-Promotion

2008-03-03T12:29:00.001-05:00

Support CX Magazine and read good things.

Thinking

2008-03-02T08:47:00.002-05:00

See I've had these two weird bouts of illness recently, but both strikingly similar. First, last weekend. Saturday I woke up with a pounding headache, no energy, woozy-doozy head. I pretty much literally slept all day.

Felt OK during the week but then the same thing happened this past Friday. Yesterday I felt better, today about the same. Still a little woozy in the head but I'm managing to get through my days.

So what am I, just some whiny, sick fuck? Maybe I've got a touch of this flu going around? In all it kind of sucks, but it's given me time to think about the 08 cycling season...

Once I got back into this cycling groove a few years ago (after about a twenty year break) I fell back into old habits of training for a typical road season. I relied on old memories and probably older theory. Long base miles in winter and early spring before transitioning into a standard weekly pattern of some speedwork and intervals and more long slogs. In all, good enough I guess.

But now I'm thinking, what the hell? What the hell am I doing? First off, do I race on the road to the extent that demands this kind of prep? No. No, I don't. Most I ever do is 25-35 miles of concrete circles at the circuit races on Long Island or NYC. 60-90 minutes.

I'm just so bored by that stuff. It has taken everything I have to load up the car and get to these races, mostly just because I don't really care. I can tell I'll feel the same way this coming season. Rut, I guess. But I'm digging the idea of more cross in the fall. 45 minutes of fun. Summer weekends are for family, beach, camping--I just can't wrap my brain around the thought of trying to squeeze in summer racing, especially anything off this godforsaken island.

So here it is the first week of March. What am I doing (he asks rhetorically)? I had this notion of doing some structured base building this winter, but that's kind of fallen apart with work and this flu bug. I've been moving, keeping active, doing the smorgasbord whatever-I-feel-like workouts. All the other Long Island racers are gearing up for Central Park racing in a week or two. They've been POUNDING out long workouts, speed, hills all winter. Sheesh. Not me by a long shot. Central Park: dark, cold, icy, horse shit on water bottles and teeth. Nope.

But now what?

So here's a serious question if anyone is reading to this point: If all I plan to do this year is some speedwork circles over the summer leading into a cross season of 45 minutes nailed in the coffin this fall, is there any reason to slog out long base miles?

Right now I'm thinking, what's the point of anything over, say, two hours of hard intervals/hills as the hardest, longest workout this year? Keep everything else to 90 minutes or less? Do a little running starting now? Figure out dismounts/mounts and running with the Zank BEFORE the cross season starts? Wouldn't I be better served doing some fun mountain bike rides of whatever rather than forcing out some antiquated road training pattern over the summer? What's a cross racer who wants to have fun to do? HELP! Somebody be my coach. For free.

That's what my woozy head is thinking anyway.

What Moveitfred Is Doing Right Now

2008-02-15T10:59:00.002-05:00

This is a new, riveting installment of this blog. What am I doing right now? I'm reviewing a book for a publisher. When I agreed to do this weeks ago it seemed like a good idea at the time. But then came the inevitable delays in getting the copy to me and then I let the project sit, and sit, and sit in my inbox until I got the annoying "reminder email" from the editor that the review is due today.

Fuck.

So I've put in an hour and plan for an hour more of this torture. Then it's going to be off on the cross bike into the woods across town. Got to do it. Got to go. First time out on the cross bike in weeks. And then whatever is left of this project will string out into the blurry night.

Yeah, well

2008-02-08T18:03:00.001-05:00

I'm pretty much anti-blogging right now. Plenty to keep me busy in real life, I guess. Gotta get some time in on the bikes. Time's a ticking....

Tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, Boom!

Ouch

2008-01-25T16:12:00.000-05:00

That sucks...

And now

2008-01-25T09:41:00.000-05:00

some are gearing up for a big weekend at Worlds. The course looks very spectacular from the story/photos in Velonews.

Scary drop (photo by: Charles Pelkey)

Seems Compton, Trebon, and Bessette are no-goes. Too bad the representation from North America is dwindling. It's a long freakin' season.

The a-team is out in Cali. Two pieces of advice: stay away from Heywood the accountant and eat lots of Tacos. Felt is in Cali. Heywood is in Cali. I'm not.

And me. I should be building up some courses for work but instead I'm killing time until the temps creep into the 30's so I can get out on the bike.

A la Felt (RIP) I'm thinking of putting in some more time on the mountain bike this year. This is just random, bullshit, mid-winter rambling right now (sort of along the same lines as horking out volumes of January discourse on the various attributes and shortcomings of training devices), but a thought nonetheless. Maybe a mountain bike race? Might be fun to watch my cheap-o Specialized fall apart under my ass as I spit dirt from my lungs.

Hey, I hiked/sort of ran for an hour and a half in the woods yesterday. I'm a little sore. Isn't that cool?

What Retirement?

2008-01-21T20:25:00.000-05:00

I really need to "get into something."

Books

2008-01-15T10:13:00.000-05:00

This is one of the times of the year that affords me some flexible hours for random reading. One of my habits is to wander the stacks at the public library and grab whatever looks good. Random stuff.

So I started this reading free-for-all season with some heavy-ass shit: How to Read the Bible by Kugel. Kugel is a former Harvard prof who taught intro/bible theory classes to packed rooms of wide-eyed masses. The book is heavy, thick, and rockin' good esp when he brings to light the various historical approaches to viewing this book and how these approaches had a profound influence on the shaping of societies. He tackles the topic with great ambition in a format that's easily digestible for a simple mind like mine.

After all that mental exercise I needed to lighten things up. One of my many weaknesses is for splashy, new-agey health type books. These are my celeb magazine fodder. I'm captivated by the promises of high energy, long life, great sex, and smiles by just nailing down the right combo of vitamins or taking the time to hug someone each day.

They give me moments of hope before I descend back down into the depths.

So I grabbed two of the big names in this genre, and although these dudes both promote the same goals of overall goodness they disagree quite a bit.

The two guys in the ring for this showdown are that big smiling teddy bear Santa beard Andrew Weil and the survey-promoting list guy Michael Roizen of the RealAge empire.

I don't know much about this Roizen cat but he seems to have quite the thing going with his "revolution" of surveys and numbers that allow you to calculate something called your "real age." I got bored taking the multi-page survey at the beginning of his book (I found in most every case question I was subtracting months/years from my chronological age, so I assume I am somewhat younger than my birth certificate would state--good for me), so I ended up skipping around in the book for all the advice that would supposedly yank years off my aging process.

Weil always appears so mellow and grounded and sure every time I've ever seen him on TV, but something about that big-ol' tank frame of his gives me the geebies. I don't imagine he's very svelte getting over barriers on a cross course. But his potions are so convincing.

Two of the areas of big disagreement between these dudes are alcohol and coffee.

Roizen makes is seem as if you have a duty to get lit up every night whereas Weil speaks of alcohol as "harder than herion, cocaine, LSD, and all the other illegal drugs" and you are an evil, weak degenerate if you partake.

When it comes to coffee Roizen spouts specific data to suggest without a doubt that heavy coffee consumption is good for y'all and will shed years off the aging process. He also claims you'll reduce your risks of Parkinson's and Oldtimer's diseases by hammering the joe. He's talking six or more cups of full strength a day.

Weil lets coffee have it. It's just below the evils of alcohol and 'bacco for him. It's "most irritating to the body" and he claims to have "files...filled with dramatic cures of long-standing conditions, brought about simply by getting people off coffee."

Everyone and their fahking agendas...

Roizen is my boy. Just finished a pot of Kona. I feel so mellow and right with the world.

Time to go pet the dog.

Could Someone

2008-01-10T13:29:00.000-05:00

please explain Assos to me?

The CX I Didn't Do

2008-01-07T15:03:00.001-05:00

Pal Heywood busted out his ghetto single speed yesterday and headed down the mountain into Sacramento for that uber-rare event: the Cali CX race. Pictured above are some of the A's negotiating the sloggy banks of the American River before turning to hoof it up. Wood told me it wasn't all together uncommon to get caught up in a bad line in the post-storm mud and end up in the river.

Any topless cult meetings taking place along the river, Wood, or does that only happen at the spot you saw fit to lead Moveitfred's kids to this past summer?

Also heard there was something going on in CT this past weekend.

As for me I just did a lazy two hours around town on the CX bike and managed to almost fall asleep in the sun down at the beach. After the recent below zero temps the 50+ degrees today felt like 80, or something like that.

Fishing

2008-01-07T11:53:00.001-05:00

The warmish temps here on the island this past weekend convinced the son that fishing would be a good idea. Despite my caution that it might be a tad colder down by the seaside and the bountiful schools of fin were likely gone, sluggish, or holed up in deep water we did indeed pull out the tackle and walk down the road to the harbor.

It was all good fun until the repeated casting got boring, the action changed to pulling out creatures from the muck, the jeans got wet, and the sharp breeze off the water put a freeze on the whole experience.

[transition]

So in the NYT today Stanley Fish [clever, huh?] had a few choice things to say about the Humanities.

Will the Humanities Save Us?

Hmmmm...

First, the title. Isn't Fish stretching for effect what people expect from the Humanities in the first place? How dramatic! "Save Us?" Look, the Humanities ain't gonna save us [whatever the hell that means] folks, no matter what. OK, so Fish admits as much in the essay.

Forget the title. Where Fish pushes buttons is with his suggestion that the Humanities don't hold a strong place, outside of themselves, in the academic experience. His overall stance seems to create a model for education that adheres to a vocational framework. Not that there's anything wrong with a vocational or skills education mind you. Look, if some dipshit plows into me and I'm spurting blood all over the twisted metal of my minivan, I don't want a philosopher on site ruminating on the effects of our hurried human condition. I need one dude powering up the jaws of life and another applying arterial pressure.

But what about this from Fish:

"Justification, after all, confers value on an activity from a perspective outside its performance. An activity that cannot be justified is an activity that refuses to regard itself as instrumental to some larger good. The humanities are their own good. There is nothing more to say...."

The Humanities don't serve a larger good? Really? I'll admit that anyone would be hard-pressed to draw a specific line of "good" from a humanities classroom to some specific goodness out in the world that can be measured into a "larger" context [wait, and are we talking economic good only?]. But have we lost the corner of our intellect that suggests engaging our brains with the interesting thinkers and ideas from the past is a worthy good?

Fenders, pt 2

2008-01-05T20:14:00.000-05:00

Got this response from Jack Sweeney at Bikecommuters...

John...unfortunately, you can't have it both ways: you can either have GOOD fenders, or you can have "easy on/easy off" fenders.

For example, the SKS Race Blade -- they go on and off very quickly, but they don't provide enough coverage to really keep you and your bike clean and dry. Same goes with the seatpost-clamping rear fenders. Same with the clip-on front mini-fender that goes on the downtube.

I've tried a couple modern brands of fenders, notably the Zefal Cafe models and the Planet Bike full-coverage fenders with integral mudguards. The Planet Bike ones are substantially better (better hardware, more versatile). One trick some folks use to make the fenders go on and off easier is to thread longer mounting bolts "inside out" (from the inside of the fork/dropout bosses toward the outside of the frame) and using metric wingnuts to attach the stays and struts. Still, it's not a 30 second removal process!

If you go for really blingy, indestructible fenders, I heartily recommend either Honjo or Giles Berthoud fenders. Honjos come in fluted, smooth or hammered-finish aluminum, while the Berthoud ones come in stainless steel. The mounting hardware and struts are without peer, and either brand is so gorgeous that you won't want to take them off!

Either Peter White Cycles or Velo Orange in Annapolis, MD carry these kinds of fenders...might be worth checking out!

Fenders

2008-01-05T15:54:00.001-05:00

Can any of you experts recommend fenders? Anything to avoid? Will these cheap-os from Performance work? I'd like something quick and easy to add to the Zank cross bike for commuting purposes.

Old?

2008-01-04T12:02:00.000-05:00

Just renewed my license and don't feel as old as they say I am. You know the routine--you renew and USAdaMan says you're going to be X years old in 08, but you're not X years old yet. Kinda depressing, actually.

I mean, crap, I remember when my dad was that old.

Crimp

2008-01-04T09:19:00.001-05:00

Since I am, when it comes right down to it, unemployed until the end of the month I have been given the duty of disassembling the family xmas tree before the whole thing shrivels into a tinderbox and spontaneously bursts into flames.

So I started on this project last night.

Now this photo above--mined from the internet--shows the proper way to hang a holiday bulb on a tree, in my humble opinion. If you look closely you can see the hook is well positioned and the hanger had enough confidence in the entire complex device to allow the needles of the tree to act as additional support so that the festive globe would not shift or, in the most devastating scenario, come crashing to the floor.

For those of you with experience disassembling a tree you probably know, like I do, that removing a well-positioned, properly hung bulb is not a complex maneuver. In fact, one can often breeze through the job in minutes by simply snatching gobs of these bulbs with your bare mitts.

However, this is not the case on our tree.

It seems, unknown to me at the time, that my wife schooled our children in a different bulb hanging technique, one that involves not just appropriate placement of the bulb on the tree but also employs the bizarre technique of crimping and twisting the wire hanger around and around and around the branch so as to secure the entire device--solid and unmoving--to the display.

W....T....F?

By my rough estimation the removal of each bulb--a job that traditionally should take no more than about 3/4 of a second--now takes upwards of 15 seconds with the need for two hands combined with an awkward un-twisting technique to free each shiny ornament. And think about this: because the removal now requires two free hands one cannot use a weaker hand/arm/body to stockpile bulbs as one moves around the tree. Multiply this painstaking job by roughly 80 bulbs and add into the equation the thousands of stiff, dry, razor-sharp needles yearning to strike before dropping to the floor and you get some idea of my hell.

Cold

2008-01-03T10:55:00.000-05:00

photo by Larry Campbell from St. Cloud, MN

Guys like this make me feel like a wussy boy. Weather dot com says it's 13 with a feels like -2 outside right now. After I slurp down a bowl of wife's most excellent split pea soup I'm going to brave the elements with a long hike through the local woods. Just can't stomach the chill on a bike today. I'm pretty strict and consistent on my temp range on the bike:

30 and above--no trouble/no thought. Can pretty much do it all from easy spin to hard workout.

20-30--I'm good for about an hour, maybe two in the woods. At these temps I really don't know what I'm doing on the bike. Too cold for an easy recovery ride and don't like doing a hard ride for fear of sweat buildup and real chill. Yes, my manhood is seriously questionable. Usually just go out in these temps for a mental health break.

Below 20--nope. No good comes of this for me.

After today things supposed to warm up into the 40's through the weekend and into the 50's next week. Uhh, I guess that's good, although these severe temp swings are just weird, man.

Question for the Morning

2008-01-03T08:23:00.001-05:00

Did Gewilli bicycle commute in this?

BlamBlamBlam!

2008-01-02T16:04:00.000-05:00

Finally some cold weather 'round these parts with more typical brutal cold on the way tomorrow. After some catching up on work, watching the a.m. snow fall, and downing a pot of joe I went out for an hour on the cross bike before returning to the basement for some more specific work on the trainer (If you're just tuning in, I'm one of those freaks who really doesn't mind the indoor trainer that much. In fact, I kind of like it. Let's me catch up on stupid movies and heavy metal tunes).

A couple of pics while out today:

About two miles from home out along Strong's Neck. All the big white dots are swans.

At the end of our road--some widgeons, geese, and more swans.

We have a little swan problem around here, in my humble opinion. Too damn many of them things. I recall when we first moved to the area over 10 years ago there was one nesting pair in the cove below our house, and they got all kinds of attention in the local press. Mate for life, how romantic, real-life Disney movie, all that shit. Now we're overrun. Last winter I counted 79 of them bobbing around our cove one day.

This brings to mind another, related (in my mind, anyway) issue around here these days: Duck hunting. Long Island has a long tradition of duck hunting in the protected harbors and estuaries that surround its shoreline. Of course--Long Island Duck, right?

Along about January our neighborhood comes alive with the cracks of shotgun blasts at dawn. Personally I'm comforted by the sound. Really, I am. My rational mind knows that the species blown from the sky are at stable populations, the fact that the hunters get up in the wee hours and brave the biting cold commands my respect, and the sound itself reminds me that there is a tradition and passion for an old sport still brewing among the population.

Most of my neighbors don't agree.

They are afraid for their children. They are afraid for their property. They cry for the little birds falling from the sky.

Pffffft, rubbish I say. For once, just once, these people should be forced to gather and eat something that doesn't come wrapped in plastic or a box. Thankfully the hunters won a nice little prize recently, as reported in our town paper:

A contentious, often loud meeting of the Brookhaven Town Board Tuesday night resulted in a victory for duck hunters — and for lame-duck Councilman Kevin McCarrick (R-Shoreham) — when the board voted 5-1, with one abstention, to amend Town Code to permit waterfowl hunters access across town parkland with their guns. The hunters in the audience, who appeared to outnumber the amendment's opponents at least two to one, cheered when the vote finally was cast well over two hours after the debate began.

I say let's expand this whole shooting thing to include those damn swans. Some rebels in London got it right.

(ps, we also have growing numbers of deer starting to creep into our neighborhood and, let me tell you, I do have a bow and a few arrows in my basement)

08 Starts Tomorrow

2007-12-30T21:56:00.001-05:00

I tried to squeeze into the 07 season kit yesterday and discovered that the past month of lethargy and sloth has taken its toll. Tomorrow begins training for the new year. There will be no public proclamation of goals besides getting back down to fighting weight, improving the skills, trying to push the fitness a bit, and having fun with my new sisters and brothers of HUP. I couldn't resist the signing bonus and substantial salary offered by the nation of Zac Daab, and so will be sporting the new kit this coming year. huphuphuphuphuphuphuphuphuphuuuuuuuuuuup!

Will be following a modified program for base training this winter before going full bore with "The Program" in the spring.

Here's hoping all enjoy health and goodness in 08.

NYC

2007-12-30T19:49:00.000-05:00

Great day to join tourists from around the world in NYC today. Got a jump on things by hitting the road at first light, scored a sweet, free street spot on the Upper East Side just off the park (Moveitfred can parallel park a semi, he's that damn good), and got in all planned activities just before the rain started in the late afternoon.

Getting groovy in the park to start the day.

Spent some time rock scrambling in the Ramble.

Destination #1: Dinosaur bones and stuffed mammals.

Cruising south on Columbus.

This is your bike in NYC.

Spending time with all my friends in Columbus Circle.

Squab.

Moment of quiet.

Alotta freakin' coin.

There are forces beyond our control that draw all humanity to the tree/rink at R Plaza. Only way to survive is by medicating with large cookies.

Standard fat tourist crowd on Madison Ave.

My opinion: NYC is fine for the day/good to be home.

Workouts (inspired by Felt)

2007-12-29T16:49:00.000-05:00

a.m. workout:
sleep until 10:30am. eat usual bowl of cooked oats and a tasty orange. still hungry, eat bowl of honey-nut cheerios. drink bad decaf coffee to try to take the edge off. doesn't work.

p.m. workout:
pick up leaves in the yard all afternoon until the back screams in agony. try to relax while hordes of 6-8 year olds scream through the house. wife is nowhere to be found. consider taking own life.

evening workout:
neighbor kids finally go back to their own hovels. drink alchohol.