Friday, July 25, 2008

I don't get it, but whatever

Meg tagged me? With a meme? Dude, I am WAY out of the loop on this one, but I just finished up a brilliant job teaching over the summer, got nothing to do right now, so here goes:

If you could have any one — and only one — bike in the world, what would it be?

My purple Zank. Easy answer. The bike does it all, and it's comfy steel all around, baby.

Do you already have that coveted dream bike? If so, is it everything you hoped it would be? If not, are you working toward getting it? If you’re not working toward getting it, why not?

See answer above. My Serotta Legend ain't too shabby either. Check back in six or seven years when I have my new Sachs. Answer may change.

If you had to choose one — and only one — bike route to do every day for the rest of your life, what would it be, and why?

I would ride from my sister-in-law's pad in Long Beach, Cali along PCH to my day job teaching swim and rescue classes to female, 18-25 yr old lifeguards-in-training in Newport Beach, Cali. And then I would ride back to Long Beach. Why? The scenery, man.

Do you ride both road and mountain bikes? If both, which do you prefer and why? If only one or the other, why are you so narrow minded?

Yes. Road. Because I suck at off-road. I hit trees regularly.

Have you ever ridden a recumbent? If so, why? If not, describe the circumstances under which you would ride a recumbent.

I would beat my testicles with a wrench before I would ride a recumbent.

Have you ever raced a triathlon? If so, have you also ever tried strangling yourself with dental floss?

See answer above. Replace "ride a recumbent" with "race a triathlon."

Suppose you were forced to either give up ice cream or bicycles for the rest of your life. Which would you give up, and why?

Ice cream. To keep my slim, sexy figure.

Can you conceive cycling without racing?

Here's the deal: I think I confuse "racing" with "touring."

You’re riding your bike in the wilderness (if you’re a roadie, you’re on a road, but otherwise the surroundings are quite wilderness-like) and you see a bear. The bear sees you. What do you do?

Drop my bibs and shit with it.

What is a question you think this questionnaire should have asked, but has not?
Also, answer it.

What are you going to do tonight, Moveitfred?

Well Moveitfred, I'm glad you asked. There is the usual Long Island Fiasco circuit race tonight, but here's an example of where my head is at right now. Instead of racing I will be attending the double feature tonight at the film fest. I'm hoping to catch up with a couple of new screenwriter friends, talk shop, mingle, and say things like "I appreciated the visual elements in that film, however I believe the narrative arc was misconceived."

Two more things:

1) I have no friends and nobody reads this blog, so I have nobody to tag. I will accept my fate.

2) Heywood: if you're out there I need your help to screw my f'ing head back on straight. Dude, I'm going to a FILM FESTIVAL tonight! It's gotten that bad.


Heywood Jablome said...

How was the film festival pal? I will have a talk with my sister and get her head on straight. She should have never put you in that position.

solobreak said...

Fred, unless you really want to suck forever, you need to get your lanky ass off that godforsaken sandbar and do some racing before your beloved cx season starts. With the SoHampton race bound to draw the biggest field in its history this year, do you really want to be an embarrassment?

I'm unable to decipher whether or not you're going out to Heywood land to help with the harvest, but either way get out of your shell and race. New England is not that far. Come to Bow, Nashua, or even Mt Friggin' A. Nashua is the same weekend. We'll make a racer out of you yet. Beating up on the invALid does not count.

Moveitfred said...

I don't think there's a way off this island. It's all very lord of the flies.

Il Bruce said...

Sucks to your island, Piggy.

Moveitfred said...

Il bruce gets it.

Solo, Freddo is going to attempt an effort up Latigo Canyon tomorrow on a beat-to-shit Cannondale. Hopefully Caltrans sends crews up there regularly to scrape roadkill off the pavement.

Megan said...

wasn't it sucks to your asmar?