Breakfast

Day 2: slayed it once again.

shhhhh...

Moveitfred just sneaked his ass back into the third floor suite here at the beautiful Hampton Inn. What's left of family fred is asleep.

Moveitfred destroyed the complementary breakfast down in the lobby merely moments ago. Know what it's like when shit be all set up a certain way and then YOU enter the space and announce, "No, no mutherfuckers...I own this fuckin' place now!"

Moveitfred is confident his loyal readership knows what he's talking about. Moveitfred went to the front and took one helluva pull on that breakfast. Fucking waffle press was smokin' balls, yo.

Moveitfred Jr. should be tearing through warmups at the pool about now with Mrs. Moveitfred in charge. This afternoon Moveitfred's daughter hits the venue and just may bust out one of the best times in the country this year....

Rollin'

Moveitfred just turned in final grades for the two online classes he taught this summer. Moveitfred prefers not wasting time actually calculating final grades and instead simply records an A for each student.

And you can decide for yourself if that's how Moveitfred rolls.

Tomorrow Moveitfred drives his kids to a big-ass fucking swim meet at parts up yonder for the weekend. Upon return Moveitfred jumps on an airplane and flies the fuck out of Dodge for the rest of the summer.

And you can decide for yourself if that's how Moveitfred rolls.

Changeup

"Didn't I tell you? I'm taking the day off work today."

Mrs. Moveitfred

Dogs

Y'know, you gotta love the labrador. But they are some stupid fucking dogs.

Moveitfred slept in and then squeezed 60 minutes on the bicycle midday as soon as the heat index reached its peak. Then he went swimming in a pool. Then he ate some cheesecake.

Right now Moveitfred should be grading the final papers in his summer class that ended last week. But he's too fucking tired of reading the idiotic drivel.

Instead he's been emailing Heywood Jablome. Heywood and fred plan to overthrow the planet, and they're just working out some of the details.

Another Average Day

This is the sight of a happy Moveitfred. Last night's wicked electrical and wind shit broke open the best day in weeks. Add to the greatness Moveitfred Jr. in basketball camp all day, so Moveitfred got out for a good long one in the breeze. Additional added bonus: no fucking flies biting his ass.

Months ago Moveitfred sent out one of his pile of shithole scripts to the greatest screenwriting competition on the planet: The Nicholl. Of the 200 million scripts entered, Moveitfred got word today that his did not make the quarterfinal cut of about 300 or so. However, according to the academy experts at Nicholl, he was one of a few very talented a-holes who got a "ps" added to the rejection with some notes on the script explaining how close it was to making the cut.

It's sort of like getting kicked in the nuts then having a podium girl slather some lard on your swollen nads.

Back in Black

Moveitfred is glad to be back home and mowing the grass. It's warm and steamy, but not Arkansas warm and steamy. Moveitfred even wore a black t-shirt. Badass, yeah, he knows.

Things that suck today:

1. This weather. Moveitfred doesn't like wet.

2. Work. Moveitfred has ignored his responsibilities for too long.

3. Preparing to fly on an a-e-roplane. Moveitfred doesn't like packing, worrying about how to get to the airport, and thinking about fast movement above the earth in a tube.

4. Staying in Arkansas. See below:

Fuckers

Can't stand these fuckers.

Moveitfred took his kiddies to the neighbor's pool last night (poached it while they're away on vacation, yo) and one of these fuckers kept landing on the heads of family Fred and biting the shit out of the melons.

This morning Moveitfred did what was otherwise a pleasant 2 hours with the miss-us, until out on the beach road two of these fuckers nailed Moveitfred through his lycra right in the ass.

Moveitfred realizes he's on the south end of fitness, and his black-bike-shorts ass looks like a nice slab of cow. But still.

Fuckers.

Lie Down

Moveitfred snarfed around the interweb this morning and picked up various freebie feeds of the Tour de Pave. Fun to watch people fall on rocks.

Before that Moveitfred went out for a relatively cool 6am ride with Mrs. Moveitfred. Later in the afternoon he took Moveitfred Jr. to the beach for swim lessons. Now THAT was freakin' crazy from the heat. Moveitfred considered entering the water to cool off, but with 500 fat mothers and screaming kids plying the salty fluid he figured there was enough diluted piss floating about to discolor his trunks.

Badass

Shove that, douchebags.

Moveitfred went to Canada for the first time as a kid while on vacation with his parents. Moveitfred remembers stopping at the border where some guy in a hat asked his dad some questions about where he lived and if he had any fruit in the car. Moveitfred also remembers getting some Canadian money, and he thought it looked funny.

Happy Canada Day, Canada.