It's mid-September. Do you know where your kids are?
My guess: they're racing cross.
Many have been doing it behind the 7-11 since...ready for this?...August.
I hate to break it to you. I know you thought they were hanging out at the mall and spending your paycheck at Abercrombie.
They're scamming adults to purchase registration a case at a time.
Lots of 'em are at a place called "Sucker Brook" right now.
Yep. They're overindulging and out of control.
Nope. I won't tell you how to get there.
You're on your own. Hey, it's your fault for not paying attention to them when they were young.